Well the other night while playing the song Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds on my Radio show. I posted on our facebook page about being a primadonna. As women of the world its a weird thing that there is some shyness associated with embracing your inner primadonna . One of my listeners said it is wired in a women DNA . I told them in solidarity I would post a picture of me in a Tiara. One given to me by my co-workers at my former job. What bothered me is this the fear that grabbed a hold of me when I posted the tiara picture. Who was I to be posting a picture of me in a tiara. Normally I would just do it on a lark have a good laugh with everyone move on. I got an extremely hurtful email basically tearing me to shreds earlier that day. Having a blog you get hateful stuff once in the while its part of the world. Though this effected me deeply which is weird. I to be honest didn't even want to do my show that night. I was cringing at the thought of the promo photo being posted. I didn't want to be seen heard just wanted to disappear. I had just had my first dose of cyber bullying a couple weeks ago. I had a group of supporters who stood by me during that time , yet in the same token there was this feeling of being alone. I think all of it had taken a toll on me.
In putting myself out there to achieve something. I had now been targeted by jealousy. Jealous of what I thought I'm out of work trying to keep my life together by a thread. I work for many hours a day to get a job. Work on my radio show for free am blessed to have this internship. Fear had shown up and it got me. I soon found this strength in me that I hadn't had in a longtime. It was more important that I embrace that inner primadonna that the tiara picture needed to go up. I was going to do the show upbeat have fun with my listeners. I was going to be seen and heard in a tiara no less. The picture was well received by my listeners now some of them are going to buy one. I found it empowering to have faced a fear moved past it . I think in everyday life we all have those times we rather just disappear. What I learned is that those are the days you need to show up. You not only show up but you shine bright. I'm glad I did hope this helps you do it too. I always have a song that pulls me through, I found it in Destiny's Child " Survivor " I will not tell you how many times I played it that day. It was just what I needed to pull me through. Music therapy at its best .
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