I have recieved allot of email in regards to my previous post. Saying I had allot of courage to post a picture of me at my heaviest. It was hard I will admit though I do love that girl in the photo though . I don't feel like her anymore. I struggle with body image allot know that it is a daily struggle. I often now don't look allot around the room to see if I'm the fattest there. I just look to see who is there and make sure to smile. Even if I know I'm being judged in not a good way. I act ignorant to it and plow through get done what ever I was there to do. I no longer look at beautiful women as a representation of my failure. Seeing there beauty saying Im not like them I'm less than. I have just learned were just different at the end of the day. I heard this great term compare and despair. Allot of times if you talk to these women you envy you'll find they too have some of the same insecurities. As I question the seeming rejection of the real beauty movement in some aspects. I wonder if more of our insecurities are caused by each other? Let's face it as women we are sometimes mean to each other judging people quickly. If you don't think the women in the room doesn't know you are talking about her she does. I have been that women at one time you have been that women. If you think you won't be the women being mocked in the room you will be. We have a culture that seems to promote us judging and belittling each other. I see in on these reality shows all the time there is always cat fight always ready to erupt . There is always women sitting around with big glasses of wine judging each other. Do I even have to mention the shows.
We all have our time seems to be a right of passage of a women. I remember being aftraid to walk out of the room of a group of friends of mine for I knew or thought they would talk about me. I remember being afraid to even go to the bathroom. Though as I grew up I realized that if they wanted to talk about you they will . No matter how strong your bladder may be. What I learned to do is make a joke about it " Well if they are going to waste there time it better be juicy" I love this line by Ana Difranco's song 32 flavors
If you were sitting in a room of strangers do you mentally put signs on them. I get all kinds of judgement because I'm 38 and not married also arty with a cat. Women and men even look at me and say you don't have kids ? They seem to think I'm a bit weird for this what could be wrong with me. My life just took a different path is all I say. We are all are on different paths we don't take the same route as each other. I've tried myself to judge less and learn more. Its hard but I want to treat others as I would want to be treated. So if you were to put one of these labels on yourself what would it be ?