Well here at PTB as you know times are a changing so is my life in epic proportions. Im at a point where the past two years of this rollercoaster ride has taken its toll. I sit her at 1:58 am EST time listening to music very exhausted wondering what the next course of action will be. When you have to rebuild constantly it turns into this sadistic game that you play. I sit and make one of my lists and realize that even though I feel in this dark abyss that I have allot to be grateful for. So if your going through anything of this nature I will share this list with you. It really helps and I find out Im laughing afterwards. If your new here welcome this is normal I share these times with all of you. I find it helps people when I do this. This is why we are an odd little place but trust me it is never dull .
1. I am here
2. I am breathing
3. I'm chilly but I have a hoodie on
4. I was in a magazine this month
5. My niece and nephew love me just cause I'm cool
6. I'm losing weight at a steady clip
7. I have friends
8. my cat likes me today
9. I have spread the word about a good organization
10. I'm not bitter yet
12. not sharing just yet but its good
13. I still have my humor
14. I just noticed I skipped 11
15. I may finally understand the lyrics to the Reflex ( I feel that at this moment it is how I feel )
16. I get to go to Day of the Dead ( my moms Christmas gift to me )
I feel like this is what I need to do everyday to keep me grounded when I feel kinda hopeless. There is always hope I know this. I do love myself as I am now. I wont stop giving love that is for certain. I say it everyday in the mirror though like anything some days I say it chirpy and others I drag my but to the mirror and push it out . Well this is the random life post . Next post is super cool I promise
I think music is strange were somehow lyrics you have heard for most of your life never made sense, now they have become cathartic . Maybe I should go to bed
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