Frankly while contemplating my life , I dont know what fricken path or rabbit hole ,I have fallen down . Nothing makes sense anymore to me . Things I thought I knew have all been turned upside down. I will ride this wave , fight kick and scream if I have to. " Faith" has been at the core of keeping it together . I love meteaphors as you can tell. I dont know if this came from a movie or book . Faith is knowing that Effile Tower is there .Even though you dont see it you know its there. So I took my little picture of the Effile tower and put it on my journal . I look at each day faith , have faith , I say under my breath . Ever feel like your striving to acomplish somthing yet you dont what it is . Every little thing you are doing is a stepping stone to this thing . Everytime I give up and say thats it . Doors open and I have no choice but to push forward . Though I get tired some how yearn for normality with 2 and a half baths . So here at 2:30 am listening to music getting lost in the melody and lyrics. Sipping on a coffee that I should not be drinking . Trying to make sense of this nonsense called my life . Earlier I was looking at a book of FairyTales from when , I was little . Its an older one so its the scary dark type of fairy tale book. Where the happy ending in some of the stories is open ended. I guess people say that you choose your on destiny . ( I hope to god , I am not about to quote Natasha Beddingfield ) Somtimes I think maybe were not supposed to understand any of it . So I'll keep knowing there is a Effile tower . When I finally see it . You know as the tour guide or my newly aquired french lover snaps a picture of me in front of it . I'll be saying I knew it ! ( there is no french lover , just putting it out there ) lol As always thanks for reading .
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